dharmakicks

One twenty-something femme, one yoga practice, split between the Plains and the Pacific.

To do:
Don't fail at being a grown-up, yoga it up daily, meditate daily

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How Meditation May Change the Brain

2.1.11

Happy February! Oy, I’ve been so crazy unproductive and unfocused all day.  I did yoga in my garage again today, and actually started to step off my mat to go do something else inside after 3 poses. I couldn’t help but laugh at myself as I dragged my ass back into Down Dog. I really don’t know whats up with me today. My hour and half of yoga was like pulling teeth, like baby-sitting some monster toddler. So was meditation this morning. I’ve been focusing on my metta practice ever since the retreat, taking a few minutes at the start of my sit to focus on my breath, and then spending the rest of the sit working with my metta phrases. Which are all sunny, nice things- “May I be safe, May I be happy, May I be healthy, etc”. But my mind slid in and out of my phrases today, I felt like I was chasing them around my mind, like when you drop the soap in the shower. Some part of me apparently feels like I have something far more important to do with my time. But I DON’T! My reading, my yoga- that’s ALL I’m supposed to be doing today. This must have to do with going back to school, back to Ohio on Saturday. I’m excited out of my mind, but I’m nervous too. I haven’t seen some of my best friends since May of last year, because I studied abroad in the Fall. Nor I haven’t been in an academic environment that’s anywhere near as rigorous as my college’s since then. Even reading in English for this project was hilariously confusing at first, coming back out of my Italian soaked Fall semester consciousness. Thinking of 15 page Art History papers and hundreds of pages of reading gives me the jitters. But at the same time, its all that I want, to be immersed in learning, to dork out over new things, to carry heated class debates out onto the snowy quads. Ah, UTOPIA. Fjkdalfjkldaf focus, focus, focus.

"Your breath is like the best boyfriend.
It is there when you need it.
It is always accessible.
Quality of breath is directly related to quality of mind.
It will always tell you when that dress really is too tight.
And best of all, it always tells the truth."

-

(Source: arichandrasana)

"We want our sitting to make us what we are not; we want to be calm, clear, or enlightened. We’d like to be able to call that rejection of our self just as we are ‘aspiration,’ but all too often it’s just another word for self-hate. Sitting, first and foremost, is sitting with who we are―what we see in the mirror. Our practice is to sit and look and say to ourselves, over and over, ‘That’s me.’

Cherish your questions, but do not chase after answers. Sit still amid your doubt, restlessness, loneliness, and anxiety. They are not obstacles to your practice―they are your practice."

- Barry Magid, Practice: You Can’t Do It Wrong (via sharanam)

(via dhammanovice2)